Chrissy Teigen Shares Essay About Pregnancy Loss


After practically a month of silence following the lack of her third little one, the mannequin and cookbook creator Chrissy Teigen shared the story of her being pregnant problems and grief on Tuesday in a private essay she posted on the web site Medium.

She and her husband, John Legend, had been quietly mourning the lack of their son, Jack, who was stillborn and delivered about midway by way of Ms. Teigen’s being pregnant in late September. “I had no idea when I would be ready to write this,” she wrote within the essay’s opening line.

Ms. Teigen, 34, first shared the information of her being pregnant loss on social media, the place she has hundreds of thousands of followers. “We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” she wrote on Instagram and Twitter. The posts included a photograph of Ms. Teigen stunned on a hospital mattress, her physique coated solely by a blanket and hospital-issued socks and her palms in a prayer place. Tears streamed down her face.

In the weeks since, she wrote within the essay, she has acquired numerous messages of help and kindness. Her phrases expressed deep gratitude for the outpouring of affection from household, mates and followers.

“Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘you probably won’t read this, but…,’” Ms. Teigen wrote. “I can assure you, I did.”

The essay detailed the placental problems that led her medical doctors to induce labor at 20 weeks and the disorientation and disappointment that adopted her supply.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the experience,” Ms. Teigen wrote. “My mom, John and I each held him and said our own private goodbyes, mom sobbing through Thai prayer. I asked the nurses to show me his hands and feet and I kissed them over and over and over again.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in 100 pregnancies at and beyond the 20-week mark is affected by stillbirth, and close to 24,000 babies are born stillborn every year. While 15 percent of known pregnancies end in a first-trimester loss, or a miscarriage, stillbirths are still rare. Ms. Teigen has been open about her experience in order to increase awareness around stillbirth and other kinds of pregnancy loss.

Initially, Ms. Teigen was criticized for posting photos from the hospital, including an image of her holding her stillborn son; she addressed those critics directly in her essay.

“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done,” she wrote. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them.”

During all of her pregnancies, Ms. Teigen dealt with placenta problems, she wrote. This was the first, though, where she was diagnosed with a partial placenta abruption.

A partial placenta abruption is when the placenta separates from the lining of the uterus, causing bleeding to the mother and stripping the fetus of oxygen and nutrients. It is a rare diagnosis, according to the National Institutes of Health. The complication puts both the mother and the fetus at risk, which Ms. Teigen said a doctor explained to her before her delivery.

“He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either,” Ms. Teigen wrote. “We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning.”

She went on to describe the complicated emotions that came in the wake of her loss: sadness, uncomfortable happiness, guilt and love.

“People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart,” she wrote. “A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.”

Ms. Teigen, who wrote that she was spending time with her children, Luna, 4, and Miles, 2, urged her readers to be open about their own stories of loss and grief. “I beg you to please share your stories and to please be kind to those pouring their hearts out,” she wrote. “Be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all.”



Source link Nytimes.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *